Transcript for July 19, 2009 by Ian Lawton

A police officer pulls over a guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.” 

The man says, “Sorry officer I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I’ll have a really bad asthma attack and could die.” 

”Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample.” 

”I can’t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I’ll bleed to death.” 

”Well, then we need a urine sample.” 

”I’m sorry officer I can’t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I’ll get really low blood sugar and it could be fatal.” 

”Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line.” 

”I can’t do that, officer.” 

”Why not?” 

”Because I’m too drunk to walk straight.”

Excuses weave a tangled web in our lives.

Last week, I mentioned George Castanza from the show Seinfeld, who was constantly making excuses at work. Jerry Seinfeld himself was famous for his break up excuses; for example the woman who ate peas one at a time, the woman who had man hands, the woman his parents liked too much and the woman who wore the same clothes every day. So in one episode, Jerry had to make an excuse not to go to a ball game with a guy. He said, “I’m really running out of excuses with this guy. I need some kind of excuse rolodex.”

Excuses come so naturally for most of us that it’s as if we have an excuse rolodex. What’s in your excuse rolodex? What are your on-demand, default excuses?

Here are some very famous historic excuses:

When Chico Marx was caught kissing a show girl by his wife, he said, “I wasn’t kissing her. I was whispering in her mouth.”
When Richard Nixon was interviewed about wiretapping by David Frost in 1977, he said, “When the President does it, its not illegal.”
When FEMA bungled the response to Hurricane Katrina in 2005, a report said, “It wasn’t just a hurricane, it was a hurricane followed by a flood.” Don’t floods usually follow hurricanes? It’s a little like saying, “It wasn’t just global warming, it was global warming followed by rising sea levels, violent weather, and the spread of tropical diseases.”

It’s no wonder excuses come so naturally for us when world leaders live with such avoidance of responsibility. But don’t focus on world leaders. Think about yourself. Are excuses really working for you? Are excuses truly giving you a deeper experience of life and serving the good of the people around you? Admit it. Excuses are one of your drugs of choice. You are hooked on blame. You are stuck so deep in the foggy pollution of your own excuses that you can’t even see what you are avoiding half the time. Instead of pollution, choose a solution. Choose to live without excuses, and once you have set this as your intention, don’t look back.

Living Without Excuses

During the week there was a profound example of living without excuses. On Thursday night, the NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) celebrated its 100th Anniversary. Barack Obama was the keynote speaker. That itself was significant. However it wasn’t the only significant moment of the night.

During the evening two people met on the dance floor. Bill Gates and an 18 year old woman named Khadijah Williams. Bill Gates, a Harvard drop out who went on to become the most successful business person ever. Khadijah Williams, beginning at Harvard this Fall despite having been homeless since she was in third grade. In and out of various schools and various homeless shelters, Khadijah kept her head down studying and didn’t even tell anyone at her schools that she was homeless. After her story hit the media, the NAACP event in New York was one of a host of invitations for Khadijah.

Just let the significance of this meeting sink in. A Harvard drop out who had no right to be such a success and never used his lack of college education as an excuse, met a woman who has no right to be in Harvard and never used her personal hardship as an excuse. They met at an occasion when a man who also had no right to be a Harvard graduate, let alone become the President of the United States and never used his background or ethnicity as an excuse, was giving the key note speech.

What did he say in his speech? Excuses begone! Yes, there is still racial discrimination in this country. But don’t use that as an excuse. Demand more of yourself. Raise the bar on self responsibility, take charge of your own destiny and don’t look back.

Now bring this close to home. Apply the same inspiration to your own situation. If the first African American President can succeed without making excuses, and can call on the African American community to raise their sights beyond excuses, then consider your own privilege and fortune. You have been given so much. Yes you have your challenges and hurdles. Yes you have your inner demons that desperately want you to live in the fear of the pat. Yes you have your inequalities and insecurities. Choose to move forward without excuses, and don’t look back.

Not Looking Back

Think of the image of putting your hands to the plow and not looking back. If you look back while pushing a plow, it’s likely to be dangerous. Farmers who look back at the plowed fields every few seconds, and people who cannot break from the past — these are the ones who stumble and, ultimately, turn back. Excuses have the same effect.

Jesus used some examples of excuses that sound plausible but when you think about them, they might be thinly veiled avoidance tactics. Take for example the statement, “I need to bury my father.” That sounds like a reason, not an excuse. In fact it seems a little harsh of Jesus to say ‘Let the dead bury their own dead.” After all, the fifth commandment says to honor your parents. It was both religious and pagan culture of the day to ensure that your parents received a proper burial. So why would Jesus say something so harsh?

I suspect Jesus was challenging an excuse that is veiled as a reason. Even death is sometimes used as an excuse.

A boss called in one of his employees. He stood there nervously while his boss peered over her desk. Eventually, she broke the long silence and said, “Do you believe in life after death?”

“Yes I do.” the employee replied.

“Well, I’m relieved to hear that.” the boss said. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.”

It helps to know something about the burial process in the first century. It was extensive, and took over a year. First, the body was left in a tomb and the family mourned for seven days. This mourning period then led to a less intense 30 day ritual. The process didn’t end until the body had fully decomposed about a year later. After that, the bones were collected and placed in chests.

So when Jesus says, “Let the dead bury their own dead”, he was pointing to something much larger than whether they were going to a funeral. How much energy are you going to give death, when there is so much life to be lived? Some of you know the experience of losing a loved one, and you know that the time comes when it would be a dishonor to the dear departed to continue in a state of perpetual grief. You have to get on with your life and honor their memory. No one else can tell you when that time is, but you know inside of yourself.

You know the type of excuse. I can’t move house because I’m not ready to move on. That sounds valid, and it might be a fine reason. Or are you looking back and trying to hold on to something that no longer exists?

I can’t date yet. It’s too soon since the divorce. That might be a fine reason. Only you know. But it might be an excuse because you are holding on to something that has died and wants to be let go.

I can’t take the chance of applying for a new job. It’s too soon since the termination. I don’t know if I can deal with the rejection. That sounds valid. Or is it an excuse, because your eyes are facing backwards.

There are many personal applications of excuses that are disguised reasons. You know how it applies in your life. You know when you are living in the past, and more concerned with death than life.

Spiritual Solutions

Do you believe it’s possible to live without excuses? If not, then consider what in the past is keeping you looking back. Is it an ingrained message, or a programmed response of fear?

There is a spiritual perspective on excuses.

Obama said it like this in his speech:

“We need a new mindset, a new set of attitudes. Because one of the most durable and destructive legacies of discrimination is the way that we have internalized a sense of limitation; how so many in our community have come to expect so little of ourselves.”

The spiritual perspective is that every moment is new and open, and life is ready to offer you second chances and third chances. All you have to do is grab the plow with both hands and take a step forward.

The spiritual perspective is that the biggest battle to win is in your own mind. The whole universe resides within you as potential and possibility. Will you take responsibility? Will you choose a solution, because you know the pollution is not serving you and its not helping those around you?

You might be thinking to yourself, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Who am I to expect more of myself than my programmed mind will allow me to believe? Who am I to solve problems with optimism and creativity?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God, born to make manifest divine abundance and bring your gifts of light to the world. I honor the part of you that is prepared to take risks for the adventure of being alive, and raise the bar on your own expectations for the good of the world. Namaste.